Yes, my faith in God has certainly been tried and tested repeatedly; however all of my hope, confidence and trust is in God.  Nevertheless, though that is the case, I’ve had to occasionally battle with deep depression and despair.  Before I proceed, let’s go ahead and dispel the idea that real Christians don’t go through moments of depression because we do!  You can be saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled and living a consecrated lifestyle and STILL have moments of depression.  If you need a Bible reference read Psalm 42 or read about the prophets Jeremiah and Isaiah.  Go to I Kings 19:3 and read about the prophet Elijah who prayed death upon himself because he thought he was the last of God’s prophets and now Jezebel threatens to take his life.  Because of his circumstance he prayed to die!  Have you ever been there before?  Have you ever been in such a low place in your life that you wished or even prayed that God would let you die?  Or have you contemplated killing yourself?  I have certainly been there before as recent as last week.  I was filled with great despair, feeling like a worthless failure; thinking death would be the better alternative.  And of course the devil was egging me on.  He began reminding me how much I DIDN’T have.  It got so bad that I began to question God’s provision and promises.  “Where are the saints, Lord?  Are we only talkers of love and not doers?  Where are those who do more than give the standard reply ‘I’ll keep you in my prayers’?”  

I realize how bad all of this sounds but it’s all real, and real is what God (and I) wants me to be.  Unfortunately we see a Christian and expect them to float around on the glory cloud on Blessings Boulevard.  We make the mistake of thinking that their hardship is a direct result of sin or being a hypocrite.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some who are just that, BUT I am a saved, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled, Bible reading, believing and living, tongue speaking, woman of faith who is totally sold out to Christ; AND I represent others like myself.  We ALL have low moments.  I was certainly there last week, being surrounded by despair and darkness until an act of kindness broke through the darkness with a ray of light.  A sister in Christ went out of her way to come check on me and then offered to lend me her car so that I could more easily move around to take care of business. In VA a car is not a luxury but a necessity!  In addition, with exception to purchasing/investing in a business or purchasing a home, a car is one of the most expensive items we own.  And here she was offering it to me?  I was completely flabbergasted by her generosity.  No one had ever extended such selfless kindness to me including my own family!  I was humbled.  Then I had to repent and pray for God’s forgiveness; for I was so consumed by my problem that I failed to see the solutions that He had sent my way.  Not only did He bless me through this sister, but also through others.  My church family came to my aid in a major way and I know this is nothing short of God.  His love for me was demonstrated through the actions, sacrifices and obedience of the saints as well as others He’s put in my path at this time.  I mentioned in the previous paragraph that I asked God where are the saints.  Where are the doers of the Word and not simply speakers of it?  The answer I got?  They were right here, in word and in deed.  They prayed me through and didn’t just stop there.  They demonstrated their love for Christ by ministering to my spirit and helping with my tangible needs.  To God be all the glory!  

I’ve shared all of that to say this: Don’t ever discount acts of kindness; for your very act may save someone’s life.  It doesn’t have to be large like a vehicle, it can be small or large, whichever God lays on your heart, and more often than that, that thing that seems so small to you may make all the difference in the world to the person on the receiving end.  Your seemingly small sacrifice could very well lead someone to Christ or like in my case, encourage a saint and help restore a saint’s hope and trust in God.

© 2010, Living Under God's Favor. All rights reserved. This site is part of NWC Ministries.

When I look back over my life I see so many things that I can now perceive how it worked out for a later and greater good in my life.  I also notice that the more I learned, the more I needed to learn.  If I tried to list them all, the things I’ve learned and the things I need to learn, I’d have to write in my eJournal for weeks, maybe even months.  I can, however, share a few things that I’ve learned over the twelve months.  When I look back over the last year….

I have learned AND am learnING:

1.    How to truly trust God more each day and how to not lean on my own understanding.

2.    To ask God, without fear, to break me in all the right places and then trust that He knows exactly where and how to do it – remembering that He works all things out for my good and that He has a good plan for me. 

3.    That I had a problem called “Needing Peoples Approval and Acceptance”, and after realizing this, I began to let God deliver me from this stronghold in my life.

4.    The only acceptance and approval I need is God’s, and that was already given to me before the foundations of the world.

5.    The more I get to know God, the more I trust Him and the more I fall in absolute love with Him.

6.    How to cast down imaginations and bring into captivity every thought unto the obedience of Christ.

7.    I am very far from perfect and that daily I need forgiveness from God, my heart purified and my mind renewed.

8.    To tap into my Power Source to recharge and for an occasional power surge.

9.    I need God in every single detail of my life. 

10. Without out Him I can do nothing but in Him I can do all things!

11. How essential forgiveness is and how to detect symptoms of secretly harbored unforgiveness in my heart (and in others).

12. How incredibly essential it is to have the gift of discernment.

13. To take the authority God has given me instead of just claiming the authority while being in fear. (You can read more about this in my entry titled, “Stand In Your God-given Authority”).

14. How much I lived a large part of my life in fear and  how it kept me from doing many things.

15. That intimidation is a spirit and that it can quench the Spirit within a believer if you give in to it. (You can read more about this in my entry titled “Spirit of Intimidation: The Big Problem Least Dealt With”)

16. I have God’s favor resting upon my life and I can see how His favor has played major roles in my life as a child, teen and adult.

17. There’s a huge difference between being busy and being fruitful.

18. To stop being busy.

19. To be a God pleaser and not a people pleaser.

20. That it is OK that I don’t know all of church etiquette because it helps keep from having a religious and traditional mindset that is unyielding and not accepting of the fullness of God.

21. To ask God to teach me how to love myself.  This is a new one.  I’ve always asked Him to teach me how to love Him and to teach me how to love people, but never to teach me how to love myself.  I can’t wait to see the manifestation of this one!

22. To be Spirit-led and not emotion-led.

23. To rely on God more than I ever have before.

24. To seek the Kingdom of God and all of His righteousness and trust that God will take care of the rest.

25. To put God’s will above my own.

26. There are still so many things I need God to deliver me from.

27. There are so many things that God has delivered me from.

28. That I cannot change me by myself; however, I can let God change everything that needs to be changed in me.

29. Everything has its season and to use God-given wisdom to know when it is my season.

30. The importance of really knowing who I am and Who’s I am.

31. To have confidence in the work God began in me and know that it’s with certainty that He will see His work through to completion. 

32. To be more patient with myself and with others.

33. What it means to actually enter into God’s rest and how to apply it in my life.

34. How to use the gifts God has given me and breaking old religious beliefs on how and when to use spiritual gifts.  For God wants all of His children to use the spiritual gifts His given to build up His Kingdom.

35. The true meaning of being taken from faith to faith and glory to glory.

36. After going through a trial and coming out on the other side of it, I’ve learned to agree with the Psalmist who said “It was good for me that I was afflicted” (Psalms 119:71).

37. How addictive Starbucks coffee is.

38. Sometimes the greatest, most effective sermons are the ones without words.

39. To cast my cares upon the Lord and leave it there.

40. To receive God’s forgiveness and not let the enemy put me under condemnation when I stumble and make mistakes.

41. If not dealt with, it is certain that people who are hurt will hurt other people.  This crosses all color lines, social status, economic status, etc.

42. How to worship God in daily tasks, doing all things as doing it unto the Lord.

43. I can personally attest that God will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3).

44. How to forgive quicker than the months and sometimes years it used to take me to forgive someone who has hurt me.

45. How to forgive even when the offending person never asks.

46. How to be faithful to God and to the assignments He gives me.

47. How to worry less and pray more.

48. How to trust God regardless of how things appear at the time.  (An entry that compliments this is the one titled, “Don’t Believe an Illusion”).

49. How NOT to compare myself to someone else.

50. That each and every gift God has given me has absolutely nothing to do with me, but rather has everything to do with edifying and building up the body of Christ.

51. The joys of being a grandmother.

52. That love truly does cover a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).

53. That God is my Source for everything.

54. Humility.

55. Psychological, spiritual, physical, and emotional healing takes time and should never  be rushed.

56. How to be more supportive of other people’s dreams and visions.

57. How to be a good leader and a greater follower.

58. How to be more confident in myself, as I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God.

59. That all words are seeds and that all seeds yield a harvest and it is up to me to decide which I’ll plant: bad or good seeds (I wrote a little about this in entry titled, “What’s In Your Mouth?”)

60. To give more of myself without expecting anything in return.

61. To believe more and more in the impossible, unbelievable and unfathomable because my God can do it ALL!

62. To listen more to my children and help them to discover their strengths and overcome their weaknesses.

63. How to pull back and let my children make their own mistakes so that they can learn from them.

64. How to be less critical and judgmental.

65. The most valuable thing I have here on earth is time; thus, I should choose wisely how I use it.

66. To listen more.

67. How to be victorious in spiritual warfare.

68. How to be more obedient to the Holy Spirit.

69. That spiritual gifts are given while spiritual fruit is grown.

70. To wait on God with a praise in my mouth and worship in my heart.

© 2009, Living Under God's Favor. All rights reserved. This site is part of NWC Ministries.

Today I was speaking with my 15 year old daughter about temperance.  Actually, I’ve been working on this with her for a little while now.  Since she is youngest, she’s been accustom to having more things catered to her than my older children, and with less responsibility.  As a result, she’s developed the mindset of thinking that she doesn’t have to do things she doesn’t want to do.  One day, about two weeks ago, she sassed me telling me she didn’t “feel” like doing something I had told her.  It’s funny, because it is at those times that I see the fruit of the Spirit, and one of them is temperance.

I told my daughter that we all do things we don’t want to do but need to do.  Sometimes doing what you don’t want to do is required to doing something you want to do.  Such as keeping a clean room.  There are times we don’t “feel” like cleaning up but we do to keep it clean, presentable and looking good.  In my case as it pertains to this consecration, sometimes I don’t “feel” like praying at the appointed time or reading the Word of God; however, I know my obedience and sacrifice is pleasing to God.  Additionally, I know I need both in order to grow in Christ which is what I want most. 

It’s funny, because as I am working with my daughter on this, God is working on me on this very same thing.  I cannot complain, actually I am grateful.  From the last few weeks, I realize that I need to exercise more control in certain areas in my life.  By the grace of God and strength of God, I know that I will.  My confidence is not in myself but in this, that He who began a good work in me will carry it to completion until the day of Christ.

To God be all the glory, honor and praise!

© 2009, Living Under God's Favor. All rights reserved. This site is part of NWC Ministries.

Throughout the day, each day, I’d ask God to help me and to deliver me but it just felt as though it was getting worst.  I’d go to bed with the problem and wake up to it – and somehow the problem had gotten a little bigger over night.  As if that wasn’t enough, I had the accuser bringing up everything wrong in my life at that particular time followed by everyone who’s wronged me over the last few months.  How horrible!  Adding to my dilemma was the visit from Little Red Ridinghood who made every emotion magnify to the 10^th power!  And you think the enemy didn’t seek to use this to his advantage?  It’s amazing just how low he’ll stoop – exploiting all weaknesses.  I thank God that God doesn’t slumber nor sleep – especially since our enemy doesn’t seem to either!  Thank you Jesus!

I think all of the above were more tolerable than the fact that God wasn’t saying much at this time.  I’m like, Father, where are You?  Why are You quiet?  Why won’t You say something?  But silence is what I got in return.  I knew He was there though I longed to feel His closeness.  I sensed that He was observing how I’d handle the enemy taunting me while dealing with my Father’s distance.  Would I fall apart or would I stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.  Would I bless the Lord at all times or would I swallow my praise? 

Well, I’d love to say that I was shouting (praising) all the way to glory, but that wouldn’t be true.  Don’t get me wrong, I still blessed the Lord and found comfort in Scriptures – even if it was just for a little while; however, it was very obvious that I had begun to let this affect me.  This morning as I was getting ready for church, I was a little short with one child and I snapped at the other as well as nearly bit the head off of a creditor who made the mistake of calling me this morning.  I’m like, IT’S 8:30 AM ON A SUNDAY MORNING FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!  After I hung up the phone, a few seconds later, my daughter came into my room with a concerned look and asking if I was ok.  I’m thinking to myself, “Ok, Naima, you need to pull it together and check yourself!  Girl, just throw yourself at the altar when you get to church and STAY there until God moves!” 

At church, God did move.  One of my prayers before church is for God to meet every need of each and every one of His children and I believe He did that today – at least to all of those who receive.  The overseer of my church, Dr. A. Ray Rouson, Sr., preached from 2 Chronicles 20:12-17 with the topic being, “He’s Got This One,” reminding us that there are some battles that are not ours, but is the Lord’s.  He gave us four things we’re to do when faced with trouble at every side (like the army in the text):  (1) Be Not Afraid or Dismayed by this Multitude (v15).  When you stop worrying, God gives you a piece of His peace (Philippians 4:7); (2) Set yourself aka CALM DOWN (v17)!  God said He got it!  (3) Expect God!  Be expecting God in your situation instead of expecting the problem or “bad report.”  Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord and remember that God is the Rewarder of them who diligently seek Him; finally (4) Proceed with Praise!  (v21) Praise is what moves God.  Open your mouth and proceed with praise.  Hell gets confused and the angels get engage by your act of praise.  Also, remember, praise is NOT a feeling but rather a commitment!

So, was this message sheer coincidence?  Absolutely not!  As you already know, I do not believe in coincidences – as God is Omniscient!  Though the fundamentals are something I try to incorporate in my life on a regular basis, there are times when it’s difficult to hold on to that perspective especially when it feels as though the enemy is coming in like a flood and God isn’t saying much.  Even simple things like your very own name seem complex during those times and the only thing you can do is hold on to what’s true which is only God’s Word.

I am grateful and humbled that God would check-in on me and make sure I’m more than ok.  I love Him so much and He definitely loves me.  I am constantly thanking God for being my Deliverer and constantly rescuing me.  Do you know how many times God has saved me?  Even from myself?  I can’t even begin to count!

In closing, the sermon ended with Judah having victory over their enemy; however, it was with a very interesting approach that they received their victory and even more, how God gave them the victory.  I am ending this entry copying/pasting v21-27 of 2 Chronicles 20.  I receive the message from this text.  I pray that you do too.

God bless!

²¹And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed singers unto the LORD, and that should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army, and to say, Praise the LORD; for his mercy endureth for ever.

 ²²And when they began to sing and to praise, the LORD set ambushments against the children of Ammon, Moab, and mount Seir, which were come against Judah; and they were smitten.

 ²³For the children of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of mount Seir, utterly to slay and destroy them: and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, every one helped to destroy another.

 ²⁴And when Judah came toward the watch tower in the wilderness, they looked unto the multitude, and, behold, they were dead bodies fallen to the earth, and none escaped.

 ²⁵And when Jehoshaphat and his people came to take away the spoil of them, they found among them in abundance both riches with the dead bodies, and precious jewels, which they stripped off for themselves, more than they could carry away: and they were three days in gathering of the spoil, it was so much.

 ²⁶And on the fourth day they assembled themselves in the valley of Berachah; for there they blessed the LORD: therefore the name of the same place was called, The valley of Berachah, unto this day.

 ²⁷Then they returned, every man of Judah and Jerusalem, and Jehoshaphat in the forefront of them, to go again to Jerusalem with joy; for the LORD had made them to rejoice over their enemies.

© 2009, Living Under God's Favor. All rights reserved. This site is part of NWC Ministries.

I woke up this morning, around 7am, with a very unusual feeling.  The Lord told me what I was feeling was righteous indignation.   As I continued to lay in the bed, I began praying, asking God to soften my children’s hearts unto obedience.  He let me know that part of their hindrance was from them entertaining the wrong thoughts.  Though I only listen to gospel, I let my 20 year old and 19 year old make their own decision (after first informing them); however, they cannot play anything but gospel in the house.  The Lord let me know that they entertain the suggestions  made in these songs and allow their minds to wander wherever the songs take them.   Consequently, they are bombarded by unclean spirits trying to lure them to rebellion and other sinful acts.  As if that wasn’t enough, they then blame God for not delivering them not realizing He already has; however, they keep re-opening the door for these unclean spirits by the music they play.

I continued to pray and I asked God, ‘do i wake them up and tell them what you’re telling me?”  “Yes”.  “How do I wake them up?  If I just call their names like I always do, they will drag their feet and be like ‘o goodness, here she goes again’ and they will not listen.  How do I get their attention?”  Just then, the thought of cranking up the stereo really loud will get them up and certainly get their attention.  ”They may be upset.  Should I really do it, Lord?”  “Yes.”

So I found a gospel -hip hop song by Frontlynaz and cranked up my 130 watt system to full blast.  Afterward, I sat in the hallway to see who would come out of their rooms.  Within 90 seconds, all of them were up.  I then told them to be downstairs in 5 minutes.

I gave them what the Lord had given me.  Toward the end of our impromptu meeting, the words ”the Lord will confirm this during this morning’s service” slipped out of my mouth.  Huh?  I wasn’t expecting that.  After the meeting, I sought the Lord to be sure of this and He told me “Yes….your words will not fall to the ground.” 

Well, today in service my pastor, Dr. Christina Rouson, preached from Leviticus 6:8-13.  The title of her sermon was “Keep the fire burning.”  In summary, there were so many confirmations in that sermon, not just what I spoke to the kids about this morning, but also things I had spoken to them individually, throughout the week.  It was almost overwhelming.  The Spirit of God moved in that place.  I felt as though I could not praise Him enough.  I lost myself in praise, but when I finally “came to” (it’s altar call now), I noticed that one of my daughters was standing at the altar and she looked like she was getting delivered.  My God!  As I continued walking toward the altar (earlier in the service, I was walking around the auditorium a few times in praise), I noticed that I seen my other daughter up there as well.  Thank you, Jesus!  Then I noticed my two sons as well.  My goodness!  All 4 of my children was at the altar!  This brought me to my knees in praise, thanksgiving and worship. 

God is so incredible.  In addition to seeing all of my children up at the altar today (on their own), God had also delivered and strengthened me as well.  By the time I got home, I felt as though I could sleep like a baby; however, there was more.  The children had a different attitude and countenance.  To God be all the glory, praise and honor.

There are so many morals to this story but two Scriptures really cover it all:

1. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” – 2 Corinthians 10:5
2. “Pray without ceasing” – 1Thes. 5:17

God bless you and enjoy your Sunday!

© 2009, Living Under God's Favor. All rights reserved. This site is part of NWC Ministries.

I have noticed that the enemy has been working extra hard through my children.  In the past, it’s usually been one child would be more rebellious and/or need of extra prayer and time than the others.  This time it’s been all of my children in close proximity of time – almost at the same time.  Each has their own individual struggle, and as a mother, you always wear multiple hats – teacher, counselor, therapist, mediator, intercessor, guidance counselor, friend and more. 

Each of them are at very different levels – vastly different levels – and I have to be able to reach them exactly where they are.  It does pull you in different directions, and just as you’ve spent hours helping one and are now drained, you learn that you have to go and help the other, and the other and the other.  All the while, the enemy is taunting you trying to make you feel powerless and overburdened.  But there’s one thing he seems to get confused about when it comes down to me.  I actually believe that “greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world” and I act on the promise Jesus gave me, “behold, i give unto you authority to tread over scorpions and serpents and over all the power of the enemy; and nothing by any means shall hurt you”. 

I should have known something was up when the Lord had me spiritually cleaning my house at 6:30 this morning.  This is a task I usually do when the children aren’t home.  This time they were all fast asleep, as i was up binding up and casting out unclean spirits that had been trying to set up camp in my home and in my children lives.  That in itself is an interesting process; however, as a Christian, this is something we must do from time to time.  The enemy doesn’t take sick days or vacation and neither does he ease up on  you because you’re tired and/or vulnerable.  Quite the opposite, he would take advantage of any weakness you have in effort to destroy you.

But as I mentioned earlier, I believe God, moreover, I trust Him and I know all things are working together for our good.  I know my children are being delivered from strongholds.  My Heavenly Father seen it fit that I should deal with these issues in this way and at this time, and since that’s the case, that means He’s already made provisions for me and has already supplied me with everything I need to be victorious.  

Precious Father, I receive your strength, and not just receive it, but rely on it.  Your Word tells me that You are always with me and I believe You.  I believe Your Word over my own feelings and circumstance and will pull strength from You.  I know that this test I am experiencing is not only for my strength in You but also for my children’s deliverance.   I thank you Father, because I know all things work together for our good and that You are preparing us for greater and more wonderful things.  I will keep my eyes on the prize, which is Christ Jesus, from whom all of my strength is drawn.  There is nothing I can do without You but in You and with You, I can do all things. 

I pray that you soften the hearts of my children so that they receive Your Word, and that it take root in their hearts.  Father bring back to their remembrance everything You have told them and strengthen them during their trials.  Remind them that You’ve vowed to never leave them nor forsake them, and help them to receive Your vow as total truth and not just empty words.  Restore their joy and faith in You, and help them to past their test, prayerfully.  I promise to give them what You give me to give them, and to give You ALL of the praise.  These things I ask in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Good nite!

© 2009, Living Under God's Favor. All rights reserved. This site is part of NWC Ministries.