The Vault Series: Help Me Love You!

From our Vault Series: The Following Was Written/Posted January 2009


One of the most pivotal moments in my life happened early last year.  At this time, I knew God was calling me to put away my selfish ways and to dedicate my life to Him.  I was already saved and had a prayer life; however, I was still trying to “do my own thing” and was far from living a surrendered life unto Christ.

imagesOne day during that time, the Lord had my sister to call me by accident.  It was nothing less than a miracle that I even answered the call because I was at work and I keep my cell on silence, in my purse and in my desk drawer.  When she called she was puzzled that I was on the other end of the line; however, I heard God telling me that there was something she MUST tell me that I NEEDED to hear.  Still hesitant, at that time, to fully trust God, I just told my sister “you might see me today during my lunch break” – all the while my spirit was actually screaming “YES U WILL BE THERE”. 

Needless to say, I was there during my lunch break, and what my sister didn’t know at that time was that I was in spiritual agony and deep depression.  Many people didn’t know it.  When I got to my sister’s, I’m not sure if I even said hi to her…I just grabbed her hands and told her to begin to pray.  I was mindful to keep my ears open waiting to hear whatever it was I was suppose to hear.  I didn’t know what it was but I knew God would let me know when I heard it.  The Spirit of God is moving through the prayer and eventually I began to pray.  We were on the floor by this time.  I began saying to God, “I am here…I am here!”  Still nothing.  I continued to pray, and being that my sister and I was doing what I call “tag team praying”, my sister prayed again.  While she prayed, the Holy Spirit had her say something that CHANGED MY LIFE!  She didn’t know it when she said it but I did by the power of the Holy Spirit.  The life-changing words were, “God, help us to fall in love with you.”  When I heard that, I knew I could now return to work and shortly thereafter, I did.

What was so important about that to me?  Well, first let me tell you I had a little “old school church” in me, and as a result, I would’ve never prayed such a thing believing that doing so was one step away from blasphemy.  I thought that being in love with God was something that was just suppose to happen and nothing you were to pray for.  Additionally I didn’t want the world’s definition of “love” but the true definition of love which can only be defined by its Creator.  Jesus made it very clear in John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commandments.”  I wanted to finally say “Jesus I love you” and know that I actually loved Him as He defines.  Ultimately, the prayer was so changing because, up until that point, I was very emotion-led.  Consequently, I would only do what I felt like doing in my heart at that time. 

Did it work?  Yes.  Jesus tells in His Word that whatever we ask of the Father, in Jesus’ name and believing we’ll receive it, we SHALL have it!  After I prayed that prayer for myself, it was not long after that He answered that prayer.  I’m not sure when I started praying that prayer, but the first time I did, I prayed it with a broken and contrite heart.  You see, I was tired of being miserable, and I was miserable because I kept believing the lies of the enemy over the power of God.  I thought that living a surrendered life meant signing up for lifetime boredom filled with rules impossible to follow.  Additionally, I didn’t know what to do with all these wild passions and lustful desires I had and that had intensified over the years.   All I knew is that God had a call on my life and after many years of running from that call, I had finally come to the conclusion that I would never be happy until I fulfilled my purpose by answering that call. 

Since then, my life has changed in ways I couldn’t even imagine at that time.  Now, my heart is flooded with such a great love for my awesome Creator that I often am unable to find the words to truly express the magnitude of it.  Furthermore one of the most exciting moments in my life was when I was finally able to say, “Jesus, I love you” and know I was actually loving Him by His definition.  I still pray this prayer periodically, but now it goes something like this, “Jesus, FLOOD my heart with love for You in such a way that it overflows onto Your people.” 

All of this happened from the one little seemingly-insignificant prayer request.  I thank God for the Holy Spirit and for using my sister to say something so simple yet so profound.  He knew that I would take it and run with it.  He knew that nearly a year later, I would be sharing this with you, and not just with you, but with millions across the world. 

I pray right now that if your life doesn’t reflect the true meaning of loving Christ that He helps you to fall deeply in love with Him right now in the name of Jesus.  May He penetrate and flood your heart in such a way that your life is completely changed – to the glory of God – in Jesus’ name I pray.  Amen.

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