Living Under God's Favor

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REV. DR. CHRISTINA W. ROUSON

August 11, 1957 – January 26, 2010

A Moment of Reflection…….

It’s rare to have a person in your life who knows your many flaws and mistakes, yet loves you as you are and treats you as the person she knows you’re becoming. To have someone who constantly teaches you how to be a mighty warrior and how to lead with humility, even when she was off the platform and was just being herself. A person who possess a heavy anointing from God and knew it, yet she was gentle and very down to earth. A person who has numerous accolades; however, she taught that the title to strive for above all else is “Servant”. By example she taught how to be a servant leader.

This person I speak of is none other than Rev. Dr. Christina W. Rouson. She served as my illustrious Pastor up until her passing on Tuesday, January 26, 2010. Her death was very sudden and very unexpected. When I first learned of her death later that afternoon, I went into shock. I just couldn’t process that she was no longer here. I saw her Saturday when we were both witnessing her husband (and our Bishop elect) being consecrated into the sacred office of Bishop. That following day, which was Sunday, I seen her and was able to give her a big hug and whisper in her ear, “I love you”, not knowing that those would be my final words to her.

Once shock subsided, anger began. It was short-lived, but it still did happen. I was angry with God for taking her away. “Why did you do this?” “Lord, this doesn’t make any senses. Why?” “Why didn’t you warn me or give me a clue?” as if I was privy or entitled to that kind of information. Now, I am the first to admit that God does NOT owe me or anyone anything and He can do whatever He very well pleases; however, I must be honest with you about how I processed all of this. Having lost so much already, especially over the last year, and now He takes my Pastor? She was a very important person to me and a major influence in my life. I do not profess to be a part of her inner circle, outside of being one of the ministers, but she by far was one of the most important people in my life. Now she’s gone.

Before I proceed, I want to share something interesting that happened to me on the day she passed away as well as a few things that happened a few weeks prior. On the day of her passing, Tuesday morning around 9-10ish, I began experiencing chest pains. It felt as though my heart was swollen or enlarged and I experienced a tremendous amount of pressure on my chest. This in turn caused my breathing to become shallow. I didn’t understand what was happening to me and I tried to just take it easy; however, that didn’t work. Later that day, around 1 or 2 in the afternoon, I got the news that my Pastor passed away from a heart attack, and from that moment I went into mental shock; however, my body was still experiencing these chest pains. After being unable to sleep that night and my children expressing their concerns (I too was concerned), I went to the hospital the next day. They admitted me into the hospital and treated me as a heart attack patient. They hooked me up to the EKG machine and gave me three tablets of nitro glycerin and injected me with pain meds; however, not even the injections of morphine could take away all of the pain and discomfort. They took a battery of tests, including a cat scan and a series of blood tests, drawing blood from me every 6 hours (side note: I hate needles). When all was said and done, the tests came back negative. They were not exactly certain as to why I was experiencing what I was; they had theories but nothing concrete. Needless to say, I was released the next day.

I returned home and took it easy; however, I was still upset with God. You see, nearly 2 years ago I went into a seemingly deep part of the wilderness and it is there where alot of old ways about Naima had died. “Egypt” had to die in order to be prepared to enter AND possess the “Promised Land”; and after losing my car, house, assets, people, family, certain comforts and other personal things, I was now being shifted into a place of restoration. I didn’t embrace this at first because everything still looked dismal from a carnal perspective. Even as I am now writing this, I am facing the real possibility of being homeless within the next 2 weeks and I don’t know what my family and I are going to do. Additionally, the day after I was released, my daughter and granddaughter moved out and this was also sudden. I have these and other things going on, yet the Lord has been dealing with me on restoration. Nearly two weeks prior to my Pastor’s passing, it finally began to sink in because of what the Lord said to me at that time. I remember waking up early one morning and going into my prayer room. I just laid there whining like a baby, asking things like, “God, where are we going to go?” “I can’t take this no more”. “Lord I can’t do this any longer” “When will this be over?” Yes, I was truly having a moment. But then God spoke these 7 words to me,

“Arise from the ashes. It is finished.”

At first I was like, “huh?” but eventually I began to pair this with what He had been telling me: He is now restoring me. And since I know that in the Kingdom of God, you have to believe and receive before you see it, regardless of how things may look, I AM in a restoration period. It’s time to build! God said it so therefore it is! It took me a little time to really get to this place, but now I am finally there. But now I’ve met another challenge and another loss, my mentor and Pastor was all of a sudden taken away.

Anger itself isn’t a sin but holding on to it can cause you to sin, so I knew I needed to release this anger. I cried out to God in prayer and expressed my anger to Him (He already knew anyway). He then humbled me by reminding me that before she was ever my Pastor, she was and is His. He began to remind me that she was a wife for more than 28 years, a mother, a best friend, a daughter, a sister and many other things to many other people, but ABOVE ALL, she is His. I repented. My Pastor was and is a reflection of God’s love and His glory. He poured into her so that she could pour into the lives of others, and now her assignment is finished.

God does everything perfectly and does everything for a reason. There is NOT one flaw in Him. He is excellent in all of His ways, and in order for you to truly endure and be faithful to God, you must become comfortable with the fact that you will never know or understand everything He does. In Isaiah 55:9, God says, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” That is fact, and this is why it is paramount for us to trust God.

Today I stand as a better person because God blessed me to know His humble servant, Rev. Dr. Christina W. Rouson, known to me and others as Pastor Christina. She epitomized a great woman, lady and servant leader, and she has seeded heavily into my life. And those seeds fell on good ground and I plan to carry out every mission and vision my Heavenly Father has set before me. Since under her leadership, I’ve learned to be a more obedient and more of a humble servant. I am not where I want to be but I am by far not where I used to be either. I’ve become a greater woman of faith, a stronger prayer warrior, a more loving mom, a patient daughter, a better sister, a good friend, a more humble servant, a great leader and an even greater follower (of Christ).

I close by using a term that I haven’t used, seen nor thought of since my junior high school years in NYC – up until this very moment. It just kind of popped in my head as I was writing this post. The kids and I would tag our names or our crews’ name with the saying I am placing under her picture. My Pastor was and is an extraordinarily classy lady, and I don’t think there’s any words I can use that encapsulates her personality, wisdom nor the impact that she’s made in the lives of many people. But if there was any person who this term was best fitting for, it would be this great woman, fearless leader and humble servant of God.

REV. DR. CHRISTINA W. ROUSON

August 11, 1957 – January 26, 2010

2 GOOD

2 BE____

4 GOTTEN

PASTOR CHRISTINA, YOU ARE CERTAINLY LOVED AND WILL BE MISSED BY MANY.

Until I see you again….

If you’d like to read more about this great woman of God and her ministry, CLICK HERE or visit go to www.sgomonline.org

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