Turn Worry into Faith
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life (Philippians 4:6-7 MSG).
Over the weekend, I taught at the monthly Bible Study we have for our Singles’ Ministry. The lesson actually came from Joyce Meyer’s book The Battlefield of the Mind. The two chapters I taught on were chapters 12 & 13 which are, “The Worried, Anxious Mind” and “The Judgmental, Critical and Suspicious Mind.” From a personal standpoint, both lessons were very fitting to me since I was going through things that would definitely fall underneath the umbrella of these topics. The class lasted for two hours and I believe we were all blessed by how God moved.
After teaching that lesson, however, I was bombarded with a series of demonic attacks against my mind – especially as it pertains to my current circumstances. You see, right now I am facing opposition on every side, dire circumstances as it pertains to my livelihood, medical concerns, my car is inoperable and I’m dealing with a lot of rejection. Making it worst is that I had to deliver a ‘not-so-happy’ message to someone who’s really important to me and I am not sure of what the response may be. To top this all off, the things God is telling me and showing me are completely opposite to what I’m actually seeing, yet, He wants me to trust Him. Having all of this going on, needless to say, the enemy seized the opportunity to shoot arrows of ‘what ifs’ or worst case scenarios; all of which led to worries and anxieties.
Though most of these circumstances didn’t’ occur overnight, it really hit me like a ton of bricks this weekend. The reason why it didn’t hit me earlier is because God has been my focus. What holds me together is His Word and His grace to grow through these turbulent times, keeping my eyes fixed on the Prize which is Christ. This is the only reason I’m able to experience joy and peace during these times; for it is the peace of God that allows me to stand and it is the trust in God He is cultivating in me that allows me to stand strong. Though that’s been the case, for some reason, after teaching the lesson it seems like the rest of God I finally entered into got disturbed. It got pretty bad yesterday and it seemed like all the hurt from the rumors and rejection had came to surface yesterday during service and all I could do is cry. Once I got home, the ‘what if’ scenarios replayed in my mind over and over again, and the next thing I knew, doubt and fear began to rear its ugly head. I knew this was nothing but the work of the enemy; as my spirit was at peace (if that makes any sense) and I was confident in the actions I had to take. What was tormenting me was the ‘what ifs’ and worst case scenarios that was repeatedly playing in my mind courtesy of the enemy.
Later on in the evening I went downstairs to bake a cake (carrot) and I brought all my worries and fears into the kitchen with me (sad but true). My usual routine when cooking or baking is to always bring my Ipod, Bible and notepad with me so I could listen to sermons / teachings, read Scriptures and/or write down notes God will give me. As I put these things down on the kitchen table, there it was, a copy of the Pursuit of Peace Agreement I made for the class on Saturday (you can receive your own copy by clicking on the link). I read it and signed it and began to speak aloud the Scriptures that were listed on the agreement (I have it on my fridge). That then gave me the strength to fight the enemy by using the Word of God. Every time a negative thought would enter my mind, I’d smack it down with the Word of God. As I’m sure you can imagine, I was up quoting Scriptures most of the night.
So here we are today, Monday, August 24, 2009. I prayed and I started my day. When I later went onto my computer, I received an electronic utility bill that was in the triple digits and was much more than I had. Additionally, I called a former co-worker and asked him if he knew of a reason why a car wouldn’t shift into reverse and his response was that this is an indicator of something wrong with the transmission. He gave me the least and the worst case scenario which then put me in a state of panic once I hung up the phone. Lord, what am I going to do? Where are YOU? Next thing you knew, I was right back in worry and anxiety; however, this time they brought along a few of their friends. Their friends were Hopelessness, Despair and Terror amongst others.
Not too long after the pity party began, the Lord had one of my sisters-in-Christ call me. I completely admit to you that by the time she’d call, I was a mess! I told her how I was fighting worry since I taught the class (she was at the class) and some of the things that were going on. The Lord used this sister to minister to me and she did it in such a way that the devil got real nervous real quick, to the point where he disconnected the phone call. It was so obvious to the both of us! You see, up until she began to minister, she spoke about her day and I spoke about my circumstances and our phone connection was fine. As soon as God had her to serve me a big dish of ‘faith food’, the phone call got disconnected and her ministering was interrupted. BUT GOD….we were able to reconnect and she continued to minister and I received what God gave to me through her. After our phone call, it was like I remembered that I was and am actually in spiritual warfare and it wasn’t just about me. The fact that the enemy tried his best to prevent her from encouraging me shows me that he was scared and desperate—wanting to keep me in the place of feeling closed in, alone and scared so that I would be no good to anyone! His (the devil) disconnecting the call also shows me that I am right where God wants me to be for His glory and that I am one pinky toe away from my blessing and deliverance. FURTHERMORE, the fact that I’ve been bombarded with these thoughts since I taught on Saturday just let me know that somebody received what they needed on Saturday. Teaching and preaching is never about the person doing it; it’s always about everyone else BUT the teacher or preacher. As a vessel, God pours into you for you to then pour into the hearers – so that God’s Word and Spirit can convict or strengthen the hearer/receiver and begin to transform their lives.
I wanted to share this with you to encourage you. Though temporarily my circumstances show a different story right now, I am actually blessed. I’ve determined some time ago that I will pursue to live a rich, full, abundant life as only Christ can give (John 10:10). God takes pleasure in the prosperity of His people (Psalm 35:27) and I take pleasure in God; for He is my reward. He is teaching me to rely less on me and more on Him, His Word and His provision. I cannot say that His ways are conventional but rather unconventional, yet I firmly believe when all is said and done, there’s a mighty testimony that will come from it and many will be edified while God alone is glorified! I believe that the testimony He’s giving me will be so outrageous and so outlandish that there will be people who will not believe it at all. However, YOU will be able to convince them otherwise because you are witnessing my journey through my eJournal.
God bless you and I want you to know that you are actually a blessing to me. You see, everything that I experience means nothing if someone cannot grow from it, and my sincere desire is not just to grow myself, but also to help many, many others to grow as well. But do understand that the ability and anointing to effectively minister to others does come with a price. Jesus says in John 12:24 that “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” This Scripture isn’t speaking of our physical death but rather our death to self (carnality, our desires, our will, etc.) in order to produce more or much fruit. This process usually isn’t pleasurable; as you are like an olive that first must be crushed before the oil can be extracted and distributed to the masses.
In closing, I just want to personally thank you for taking the time read my eJournal and I pray that the Holy Spirit met you right where you are and ministered to you. I conclude by praying this prayer for you and your household….
Blessings for Obedience
1 “Now it shall come to pass, if you diligently obey the voice of the LORD your God, to observe carefully all His commandments which I command you today, that the LORD your God will set you high above all nations of the earth. 2 And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, because you obey the voice of the LORD your God:
3 “Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country.
4 “Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the produce of your ground and the increase of your herds, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flocks.
5 “Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.
6 “Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.
7 “The LORD will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before your face; they shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways.
8 “The LORD will command the blessing on you in your storehouses and in all to which you set your hand, and He will bless you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you.
9 “The LORD will establish you as a holy people to Himself, just as He has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the LORD your God and walk in His ways. 10 Then all peoples of the earth shall see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they shall be afraid of you. 11 And the LORD will grant you plenty of goods, in the fruit of your body, in the increase of your livestock, and in the produce of your ground, in the land of which the LORD swore to your fathers to give you. 12 The LORD will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand. You shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. 13 And the LORD will make you the head and not the tail; you shall be above only, and not be beneath, if you heed the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you today, and are careful to observe them.
In Jesus’ name, Amen!
Deuteronomy 28:1-13 (NIV)
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