Living Under God's Favor

WORK WHAT YOUR DADDY GAVE YA!

I woke up rather late, ½ pass noon, feeling sluggish mostly because of the medication I took last night for the pain stemming from a herniated disk and bursitis.  When I woke up this morning, I really didn’t’ feel like doing anything and writing today’s entry was the last thing I felt like doing – actually it wasn’t part of my “revised” lazy plan for today.  Anyway, I went into prayer and all of a sudden, the sluggishness was gone and joy just filled my heart.  I was just thankful that God loves me.  I spoke with Him and He spoke with me.  I love being in His presence.   The only thing I can say is that He’s awesome and true.  I fall in love and in awe with Him every time – as it still amazes me that my God who is all holy would choose someone like me to have a relationship with let alone hang out with.  The wonderful thing is that this is available to all of His children, and I’m just like His other children in that I’ve done things in my past that I am not proud of at all.  In addition, I mess up on a daily basis; however, the fact that God forgives me for all of my confessed sins, restores me unto righteousness and remembers my sins no more just absolutely amazes me! 

As I continued to commune with God, awe and gratitude filled my heart and joy immediately followed.  While I was there He told me what to share with you today, which was something I really wouldn’t share with the public.  God reminds me that He wants me to become transparent, sharing my experiences because others need to know that walking with God doesn’t always mean you’re floating on a cloud and you’re on the mountain top.  It doesn’t mean you’re perfect, but it does mean you walk with Perfect Company–the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Although that is the case, we still make mistakes, have issues, and have bad days.  The difference, however, between an active Christian and non-Christian is knowing that God is in control and submitting to His authority.  He is our Father and friend and we know that He takes care of us, even when we make mistakes and fall.  He tells us in 1 John 1:9 that He’s faithful and just to forgive us from our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  He wants me to share my experience from last night, so here it goes…..

This week I began a seminar titled “Ministering Spiritual Gifts” which teaches you how to activate and work in the prophetic gift God has given to His people and for His people.  Within these lessons we learn more about fivefold ministry which therein lies a testimony that I must share.  Last year, God began telling me about fivefold ministry.  Well, at that time I didn’t really know what it meant, but every time I turned around, all I kept hearing God saying to me is fivefold ministry.  I knew what the fivefold ministry composed of: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers; however, I didn’t even know what fivefold ministry meant for today.  I did know that these gifts were given to the body of Christ, as stated in Ephesians 4:12, For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.  It seemed like I was bombarded by Him continuously telling me about fivefold ministry and repeating this Scripture to me.  My original assumption was that He wanted me to tell someone that they’re anointed and will be working in fivefold ministry, however, I certainly didn’t think that someone was me.  At that time, I knew God had called me to teach and preach (He told me this 10 years ago), and God had just told me about the office as prophet last year.  With that said, I considered myself threefold and certainly not fivefold.  Additionally, I had absolutely no desire to be a pastor neither did I think I was cut out for it, and as far as apostles, didn’t know one neither did I know what their functions were in today’s time.  Consequently, I conveniently shook off everything as “Naima, you are definitely tripping” and left that one alone.  As far the reoccurring Scripture, Ephesians 4:12, I just took it as the Lord telling me this so that I may remain humble, remembering that every single gift He’s given me had absolutely nothing to do with me – but was for building up His church.

Well, this year He started telling me about fivefold ministry again.  Similar to last year, it was something I couldn’t shake.  One day while I was in my SUV driving, I finally was like, what is this about?  What are you telling me, Lord?  I told you that I am threefold, and by the way, it seemed like once you called me your prophet you stopped giving me a word for people.  What’s that all about?  He just gently, in that still small voice, told me that He’s anointed me and called me to fivefold ministry.  I’m like, what?  Oh, no, You’re mistaken.  That is not me.  Then I told Him, Lord, I am sure there are people at church who have been there for about 20 years who are dying for something like this.”  His reply, “That’s exactly who I don’t want.”  Although I felt I was inexperienced in EVERYTHING, I stopped for a second then said to myself, “Naima, it took you 10 years to finally accept being called to preach and teach, and I’m just starting to get over struggling with the prophet that God Himself has called me.”  I then said, “Lord, I don’t see it.  I don’t see myself as a pastor at all and actually don’t think I’m cut out for that.  And the apostle, I’ve never even seen one and don’t know what purpose they serve in today.  I don’t see it and right now my life that You are turning upside down makes absolutely no senses to me.  I don’t understand nor see this; HOWEVER, I trust You. I know all of Your Words are pure and true.  If this is what You want me to do and if this is what You’ve called me to do, then I receive it.  I don’t get it nor see it but I know that Your Words are ALWAYS true!  I trust You, and if this is what I am for your glory, so be it. I receive it Lord.”  While I’m still driving, I’m like, “Lord, you have to teach me what this means.  All these things seem too wondrous for me, but I know it’s not about me, but You and Your people.  You have to teach me about this because I am absolutely clueless!  Additionally, what do apostles do today?  You have to show me and let me know, at least so I could have an FYI, for I haven’t the faintest idea!”

Well, that night I was preparing to go to what I thought was a revival.  It was a different church than my own and I had never gone there before.  It was the 3^rd of March of this year, and 3 days into a 40 day consecration, so I was grateful that I was blessed to go to a revival.  I needed it for the battles I’ve been faced with and fighting.  Well, I walked in and felt the anointing of God permeating the atmosphere.  I was happy about that, for the Spirit of the Lord is here.  I brought my 19 year old daughter with me and because we thought we were going to a revival, we were dressed VERY casually.  However, we soon seen that everyone was dressed up as though there was some kind of big occasion going on so we immediately knew we were underdressed.  The funny thing is that though they were all dressed up, and my daughter and I were significantly underdressed, I didn’t feel intimidated at all.  I felt right at home and was happy to be there because God was in this place.   We walked in while they were praying and soon as we were seated we joined in on the prayer and praise.  Then the service officially started.  Then the master of ceremony welcomed us to the 2009 Apostle Renewal Conference.  I’m like, “you’ve got to be kidding me”.  He introduced all of the ministers on the pulpit, and all of them were apostles operating in fivefold ministry.  My mouth hit the ground.  Earlier that day I just told God I received this call; however, I had no idea about what an apostle do today, much more never even seen someone who was operating from fivefold so I had nothing to draw from.  My friends, EVERYONE on the pulpit were apostles and operating in fivefold.  I was just like, that’s my God.  I was humbled, joyous and in awe of God once again.  

The MC introduced the apostles and as he was introducing the pulpiteers, he spoke about this one lady who was an apostle.  He said she would be teaching Friday (it was Tuesday night) and she had a seminar where she teaches you how to operate in the spiritual gifts that God has given you, particularly the prophetic.  I just simply smiled because I knew that God answered my prayer, and pretty quickly I might add. 

Service continued and was great, and soon the speaker of the hour came forth.  The speaker just happened to have been someone I could relate to.  She was a beautiful and very elegant Afro-American woman, and she was also an apostle.  Much of her testimony she shared was about her apostolic calling, and I found myself able to relate to her testimony because I had and was experiencing the same things she was mentioning.  I was just in awe of God because I knew this was a divine hook up. Her overall message talked about what an apostle does and how apostles are needed today.  Again, I was in awe.   Interestingly enough, ever since that day, it seemed like apostles were falling out of the sky and I was tripping all over them. 

Well, needless to say, I went to almost every one of the services they had, which included day service @ 11:30 as well as evening service at about 7:30 PM, I believe.  I certainly went to the apostle’s teaching on Ministering Spiritual Gifts on that Friday.  During her teaching, one thing that was impressed upon me was her desire to teach others how to work their spiritual gifts based upon the Scripture.  God could not have paired me with a better person because I love to learn!  It was that day that I learned about the seminar she teaches, which brings me to what happened yesterday evening.

Yesterday we were learning about hearing from God and discernment.  The seminar is designed in a way that the first ½ is teaching from Christian International workbook, all of which is biblically based, and the second ½ is an activation exercise, basically doing what you were just taught.  Well, for some reason, I had a hard time giving a word to someone else.  Actually the night before and that night; however, last night was really difficult for me.  You see, most of the time God used me to give a word to someone, it usually happened unplanned.  I’d be minding my business and all of a sudden God will fill me up or tell me to tell a person this and that.  Another way is sometimes I’d meet a person and go to say something to them then all of a sudden all of this stuff comes falling out of my mouth in a very powerful manner with great conviction.  I’d never said, “OK, Naima, tomorrow night you are going to go to so and so and prophesy to them”.  I didn’t know how to do that and always wondered how others with a prophetic gift were able to do that.  Or even, look at Benny Hinn.  Though his ministry is primarily healings and miracles, I used to wonder like, “how could he in advance say that he’s having a healing conference two months in advance?”  How does he know how to do that?  Well, this seminar teaches just that and I WRONGFULLY thought that it wouldn’t be a problem for me since I’ve been prophesying for years.  I was wrong!  Very wrong!  I just wasn’t seeing or hearing too much of anything from God as it pertained to prophesying to someone else – on the spot.  Well, let me take that back.  With one person, God was telling me “marketplace” and I’m like, what about it, Lord?  I just can’t say that!  What else?  But all I got was “marketplace” and I grew frustrated with myself and nervous for not having anything to give this man.  So I gave him the only thing I heard, “marketplace”, and I felt like a failure because I had nothing else to tell him.  The second exercise was a little better, but He showed me a nurse in a hospital, specifically the emergency room, and that the person I was prophesying to would have to provide comfort to someone.  If memory serves me well, the person would need to comfort the nurse, I believe.  I don’t remember all of it; however, even that was a struggle to get out especially since this happened immediately after flopping with the previous person I prophesied to.  The second person I prophesied to regarding ER, she wasn’t a nurse.  I don’t remember if she was friends with one or not, but I do remember feeling like a failure.  God is awesome because even as I write this, the Lord brings to my remembrance that there were a lot of times He’s had me prophesy what’s to come.  In the past, there were times I’d prophesy about future events and then later the person I prophesied to would tell me that it came to pass.  I sense this prophesy falls within that category.  Overall, when I left I didn’t feel as confident as I had before because I’ve already been prophesying but NEVER had control over it – it was always spontaneous.  Wow.

After class I spoke with the apostle and the other instructor, and she said that this is a milestone that many people go through.  She continued by giving me testimonies of people who were frustrated and wanted to quit; however, by the end of the seminar they had a prophetic breakthrough.  Should I see them now, I would never know they had the same issue I was dealing with.  She also mentioned that sometimes people are affected by what they learned in the past, and for me coming from a Pentecostal background, we often thought that you could only prophesy under certain circumstances, and this certainly wasn’t it.  I agreed with the apostle and knew this definitely applied to me.  Consequently, many months prior to the seminar (before I even knew of such seminar), I’ve been asking God to help me walk in faith and to show me how to work the gifts He’s given me with effectiveness.  2 Timothy 1:7 says, “Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.”  Funny how I’ve read this Scripture before, I overlooked that this actually means YOU stir up the gifts that God has placed inside you, not wait on a feeling or to be fired up in order for you to use your spiritual gifts.

God knows my heart, and He’s put the burden in my heart of perfecting the saints for the working of the ministry and edifying of the saints.  Yesterday, God let me know that I was right where I needed to be.  I also know that He desires that I know how to use each gift He’s given me, effectively, so that I may teach His people and help to build the body of Christ.  It’s not about me but about the body, for the edifying of the body of Christ.  Regarding the God’s calling on my life and the things He’s showing me, they seem so unreal because my circumstances don’t reflect that right now; however, God is true and I trust and believe Him.  With that said I learned to stop fighting Him and am learning to work with Him.  Therefore, when I go to tonight’s seminar, I will go with the mindset of, “God ordained for me to be here, and I AM GOING TO LEARN how to work what my Daddy gave me.”

Thanks for reading this, hope you were encouraged, and God bless!

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