Faith, by definition, is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. You cannot have faith for something that is already “seen” but rather the unseen. My entire relationship with God is based upon my faith in Him and what He says. As Scripture says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God”.
Well, last year, one of the things God revealed to me is that He’s gifted me with faith. I guess folks nowadays term it “crazy faith”. Had He not showed me this, I would’ve never known this was one of the gifts He’s given me. However, in retrospect, it now makes sense. One of the gifts I do know about is the gift of miracles and healing; however, those cannot happen without the gift of faith.
The first half of 2008 He had me study “faith” and then revealed to me that He’s gifted me with faith. The 2nd half of the year He had me completely living on it…LITERALLY. He called me out from a job that I had been working for 4 years and changed the whole course of my life. I have not worked since August 2008, but by the grace of God, we (my 4 children and I) are sustained and want for nothing – even during a weak economy.
I can say that since the Lord told me to leave my job back in August 2008 that my prayer life has greatly increased. Not having a job puts keeps your eyes lifted up to the hills from whence cometh my help. I have to seek God for direction on everything. I’m not going to even try to pretend that “i got this” but instead know that I am literally being supplied my daily manna just like the children of Israel were in the wilderness. Unlike them, however, I’ve decided to put my trust and faith in God. I cannot say that happened over night nor that there weren’t times that I wasn’t scared. It was like after God confirmed what He was doing, the enemy would come right after Him and throw doubt and next thing you know, I am crying out to God again asking Him to confirm things “one more time”.
I thank God for His patience with me because if I had to put a number on the number of times He’s confirmed this particular matter, I’d have to say maybe more than 20 times. On the 21st confirmation I finally decided to trust Him. That was only after He asked me a question that I’ll never forget.
One morning I woke up early and went downstairs to my prayer room. I asked God, “can i be real?”. He says “go ahead my child“. I said, “Lord, I am scared. I have no income and my mortgage is a few months past due. I don’t know what I’m suppose to do and every time I ask You what am I suppose to do, your response is only that I pray. I know you’re doing a new thing in my family and I thank you but I am scared. This is so new for me and I am taking a huge risk doing this. I know that I can put all my eggs in your Basket; however, it’s still a huge risk and I am scared”.
I was kind of nervous saying this, but I knew He already knew how I felt. The reason why I was nervous was because He had confirmed for me so many times the new thing He was doing in my family. He’d do things like before Sunday service, tell me that He will confirm it through the sermon, and He did! He led me to Scripture about this matter, then two days later, let me find a paper that I had written 8 years ago (and completely forgotten about) as a Sunday School teacher in NY with the EXACT Scripture that He gave me 2 days ago. In between that was repeated confirmations, so that is why I was nervous. However, being the loving Father He is, His response in a quiet still voice was that of a question: (temporarily removed)
Well, needless to say, I was taken back by this. He even had me to write this down. After looking at this, I said in declaration “I am a woman of faith, Lord”. When I said that, a decision was made in my spirit. I’m done questioning God and instead I am going to trust Him. It was that day that the choice was made to trust Him, completely!
I am not going to pretend that I can easily explain my life right now, especially to a non-believer. Actually, I even think believers have difficulty understanding what’s happening in my life. I can’t blame them. I don’t fully understand everything myself; however, I know this is God – not Naima. If it were left up to me, I would still be working at my cushy job as an Advertising Executive. I would’ve never left, especially when all you’re hearing on the news is how companies are going out of business, laying people off and people are loosing their homes. However, it is during these times that God tells me to “walk by faith and not by site”. He’s pulled me out of the “world’s” system so that I can begin my life in ministry. It’s funny, because when He told me this was going to happen, I naturally assumed this was going to happen YEARS later – not 2 months later.
My story still continues. Please, do not misinterpret my reason of sharing my testimony with the world. It is not to promote people leaving their jobs anything of that nature but to rather promote people to trust in God with all your heart and lean not unto your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. This is His promise to all them who trusts in Him.
You, my beloved, are witnessing a major transformation that I believe way down in my spirit is huge! He is still working things out in my favor and I will share my transition with you via this journal – as I continue to walk by faith and not by sight.
Much love and God bless you!
-Naima
© 2009, Naima Williams. All rights reserved.
